Failure to teach a child to be independent can lead to narcissistic personality traits

But what’s wrong with serving a child and keeping them happy? - we can ask the question. Wouldn't emotional neglect lead to developmental problems?

“Indulgence can also be harmful parenting behavior that is not in the best interests of the child. It impairs the child's autonomy, making it more difficult for him or her to become independent and later to separate from his or her parents. He can become a pampered, selfish adult who is extremely stressful to his environment. In addition, indulgence can lead to emotional neglect because the parent does not spend quality time with their child, but becomes a service staff and even buys everything for their child as compensation, ”says the expert.

But what might be the signs of indulgence in practice?

In the case of pampering, the family’s life revolves around the child, it’s about his or her needs - too much. The parent fulfills all the wishes and wishes of the child, serving both physically and mentally. He does not dare to say no and he does not dare to set boundaries. Instead, he also does things that the child would be able to do according to his age: such as tidying up, helping with housework, learning, and so on.

According to Dr. Szilvia Szántó, this takes revenge in adulthood. A spoiled child does not learn to control his emotions, he thinks he can do anything. It becomes a claim if the parent sets a limit on it. He wants everything right away, he can’t delay his needs. If there are no boundaries and consequences, you may not learn to take responsibility, so you will always blame someone else later and constantly look for scapegoats in the outside world.

“A child is placed in a dependent, vulnerable position as a result of pampering. As a result of parental overprotection and pampering, he cannot decide and exist independently. He will later be a resident of the mamahotel at the age of 40, or he will always need a connection where his needs are met, ”says the expert.

The child may not develop a realistic self-image because he or she was not actually confronted by the indulgence. Because he has not learned to do it for his purposes, he has no real self-confidence. Because you have not received guidance on independence and well-being in life, you can become an anxious adult, even with a mental illness or an addiction.

A spoiled adult is looking for a partner who will take care of him or her or meet his or her needs in the same way as his or her parents. He expects attention, admiration, everything has to be about him, things have to be the way he wants him to be.

“If we look at the list above, we can read the characteristics of people with narcissistic personality traits. They are mostly spoiled children who do not have a realistic self-image. They depend on others, they take advantage of their partner. They have apparent self-confidence, but in fact they have low self-esteem and put their frustration on their environment, ”adds the mental health professional.

But still, what can we do to not fall victim to this type of person?

Among other things, this is what Dr. Szilvia Szántó's recently published novel, The Narcissist at a Table, based on a true story, is part of the Narcissus Trilogy . The protagonist of the man in the book, who has narcissistic personality traits, Martin is actually a spoiled child who has been emotionally neglected. Although Martin walks in his mid-thirties, he failed to separate from his parents. He takes no responsibility, although he does his job well from time to time, is unable to manage his life, and there is no real self-confidence and determination behind his quest for dominance in sexuality. Her own child is also more of a playmate than a responsible and consistent parent.

Narcissus novels can help those who live in abusive family or couple relationships and are often unaware of the types of abuse. Through the fate of the protagonist, Jasmine, we learn about the manifestations of abuse / how the abusive relationship works, as well as how to get out of this type of relationship and break the bond of unconscious attraction to oppressive personalities.

“One of the main messages of the novel is that much of our behavior stems from the unconscious, which is guided by patterns or emotions engraved in childhood. I believe that through the story of Jasmine, we are able to see our own lives, and if we can draw enough strength from ourselves or even from working with a helping professional, we can change our lives and be able to have a healthy relationship, ”concludes Dr. Szilvia Szántó.

(Source: marmalade.co.uk; hirado.com | Image: pixabay.com)